we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
bring money and cleavage
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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