If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
