So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
