I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize