You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So much Jack, so little girl.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
