we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
