I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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