You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
