I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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