Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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