Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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