dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
