I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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