did you get engaged???
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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