You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
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There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.