where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?