i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.