MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
