I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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