he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
