...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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