Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
