I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
