very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
