didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
