I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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