I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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