I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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