i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize