..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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