i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
