I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
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I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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