i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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