ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
