I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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