Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
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Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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