if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
