Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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