he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
