Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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