i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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