he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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