More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize