No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize