Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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