I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
