Soap is not a condiment
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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