Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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