it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
