I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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