did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
