But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
