I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
True strength comes from lack of pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
