I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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