Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
